Even Vanity can be an Entry Point

Last night I happened to catch two fashion shows on Bravo...Project Runway and Tim Gunn's Guide to Style. So yes, I'm as superficial as everyone else.
But what was most interesting to me was not the fashion or clothes, but the attitudes of the people on the shows. The first of the Project Runway finalists to be 'out' after the shows at Bryant park was a young woman, Kenley who had quite an attitude throughout the season. Her critical and cutting comments of the other designers and judges finally caught up with her despite her designs.
On Tim Gunn's show their latest client was a 'tough nut to crack' with her attitudes and resistence to advice and help that was only trying to help her look and feel better. Eventually though Ali has the breakthrough she needs to listen to and work with Tim and Gretta.
No matter what we do, all of us are open to criticism at some point. Often the criticism we hear most is from the people close to us who may know us well, but may not be 'experts' in the areas they are being critical of.
That said...why, if you've volunteered to participate in either one of these two shows, would you challenge judges or leaders in the industry and think that you know better? I guess it makes for good TV.
Thankfully for Ali, she appeared to have a breakthrough and realize that her self-worth did not rest in designer labels, but in her acceptance of self. It may be superficial for now, but I hope it can become an entry point for finding the sacred self, and the temple of God that is inside of her.
I've had several revelations myself this week, but if I were lucky enough to have Tim Gunn take me shopping...I'd sure listen and be grateful for the help!

I've Really Changed, or I'm Getting Old

I heard this story on NPR this evening on my way to pick up my kids from school. Interesting how the McCain supporters were portrayed as angry and scared. From the one gentleman who did express his anger I would agree with the piece, but I actually watched part of the town hall meeting and that was not the overwhelming attitude I saw there. People were asking about many of the issues that were affecting them...jobs, health care, the environment, the economy, fuel prices and dependency. Sounds like what most all people are concerned about...democrat or republican. So why are people so passionately attacking one another on both sides of the political machine? Yes people disagree about what to do about those issues and how to approach them. But really...is it worth getting that upset and emotional about? Really?

Again I'm amazed at how wrapped up people are in this. But then I was there once too. I used to have an appetite for politics. I used to watch much more news and political spinning as if it were a sport. I used to enjoy the banter, the clever quips, the 'in-depth' analysis.
But I don't anymore. My heart has changed...actually it is the Spirit that has taken over my spirit not my heart. I get emotional now about my walk with Christ...sounds silly to many I know, but it's true. I'm passionate about following Jesus, not the news. I get upset about issues of injustice I see during the day in my own community, or the ways I see people treating one another around me. I have little appetite for news, political bantering (which is mostly negative and attacking), and much of what goes on in the world. I'm not becoming a hermit, but I am reducing the 'distractions' and the 'noise' so that I can do whatever Christ asks me to do at every turn. I'm seeing the idolatry and greed and selfishness around me with new eyes. And I care much less now about what the world seems to care about...money, political leaders, entertainment, self.

What if more people were as passionate about Christ as they are about 'their' political candidate or party? What if people spread emails about God as much as they did about their politics? What if more people cared more about Christ than anything else in their lives?

I'm sure a good majority of voters consider themselves believers of some sort and many of them claim to be Christian. But if that's the case, where does it show up in their words and their actions? Are Christians supposed talk that way? (The answer is no.) Are Christians supposed to act that way? (Again, no.)
I'll be voting come November, but not because I'm such a staunch party supporter...I'll vote for a host of other reasons including my heritage, my legacy, and my faith in the only leader of my world...Christ.
So...either I've really changed, or I'm just plain getting old. Probably both!

Teens abandoned by parents

This video from The Today show this morning shocked me. I know adolescence is an extremely difficult time for parents and teens. I've been working with teens and their families for 15 years now. The mood swings, the hormone changes, the identity questions, the experimentation, the difficulties of friendships and relationships and so much more make being a teen overwhelming and stressful. I understand how tired and frustrated parents can get...there are inumerable demands on parents from all angles and dealing with a teen at home can be the proverbial straw. But just as I cannot imagine giving up an infant by leaving it at a hospital, I can't imagine leaving your teenager there either.

Dropping off an infant is much different than dropping off a teenager. An infant needs total care and if the parent is not capable of giving that care and safety, then a hospital may be the only alternative for that child to survive. But a teen is capable of survival on his or her own. If a parent is afraid of abusing the teen, there are other resources available for help rather than just abandoning a child completely.

A quick Google search on 'parent and teen resources' yielded a wealth of good resources that you can also find locally.

If you are struggling with your teen here are some other good sources of help.

• Read the "Love and Logic" books starting with the teens edition which will give you easy and practicle solutions that will work. Pick one up at your local library (for free) or buy a copy.
• Visit http://www.mvparents.com/ for more practical tips and information about all ages and parenting tips plus resources.
• Contact your county social services office to get connected to their counseling resources...they have individual and family counselors available for all ages, income levels, and situations.
• Contact a local church or school. Your child's school has counselors on staff and if you don't want to talk to your child's counselor, ask for someone else they can refer you to (at another school or in the county).
• The bottom line is do not give up!

God does not give up on any one of us, or abandon any one of us no matter what.

Yes, there are teens who suffer from debilatating conditions and addictions that make it impossible for them to stay in a home, but there is help in those situations too. In the end, if it is best for your teenager not to live at home there are resources available to help you through that as a parent. But making an informed and supported decision with the help of professionals to send your teen away from home is very different than dropping them off at a hospital somewhere.
I know families who have been through incredible heartbreak because of the choices their teens made. But in every case, when those parents reached out for help they found the support and resources they needed to handle whatever situation came their way. But in every case (even the worst ones) the parents never just gave up on their child. And even through the tremendous heartbreak, God never abandoned anyone...the child or the parents.

No matter what you are facing with your child(ren), remember that God will never give up on you, and as a parent you can never give up on your child.

Pray today for all the parents who feel like giving up. And pray today for all the children who feel abandoned.

Happy Autumn!

Homemade chicken pot pie, apple crisp and ice cream with coffee after a good fall day. Nuff said!

Compassion and Mercy: Spiritual Gifts

Most every mother and father has cared for her sick child or children at one time or another. Middle of the night fevers, upset tummies, coughs and sniffles are the common colds and flu that make their rounds through families.

And most parents take several personal days off from work each year to stay home with their kids when sick. For some it seems like a burden and just makes one feel more 'behind at work.' For others it is an opportunity to show a different kind of caring and love. So this week, while I'm home with my two sick children, I'm reminded what a blessing it is to show them a special kind of compassion and love...one that helps them rest, heal, and recover. Extra love and kindness helps the medicine go down (even if the song says sugar). (Even as I type, both kids are in my bed and we're watching cartoons while taking our medicine...this is a treat since we never get to do this!) I remember how attentive and caring my own mother was when I was sick. And even now when she hears me sniffle over the phone I can feel her love when she says, "I wish I was there to take care of you."

Some might think there is nothing spiritual about wiping runny noses or cooling fevers. Yet, caring for the sick is one of the things Jesus commands his disciples to do. While the Holy Spirit gives us power to heal, there is also great healing in compassionate and merciful presence with those who are ill. Staying home with our children when they are sick and being a compassionate parent who serves up extra love with the applesauce or toast is a gift of the Spirit and a gift to our children.

My prayer today is two fold: I thank God that my children have simple colds that I am able to care for, but I am mindful of the many children and parents around the world who battle serious and life-threatening diseases. My husband and I are blessed with the kind of jobs that allow us to work from home when needed, and to take the time to be home with our children. But I'm well aware that this is a luxury for so many people who cannot take time from work for fear of being fired.

This fall as you care for those who are sick (it's bound to happen at some point) may you be blessed by showing compassion and mercy.

"I Swallowed A Penny"

That's a direct quote from our soon-to-be three year old son this morning. Apparently while I was upstairs getting dressed for the day, and my husband was getting sports updates online, and our daughter was watching cartoons, my son found a penny and ate it.
So when you're done laughing...I had a few reflections on the whole thing.
First, I immediately assumed he was fine and that he'd pass it eventually. But just to be safe I checked online. My suspicians were confirmed that if he didn't pass it within about 48 hours, then it would be time to take him to the pediatrician. My next thought was...how did our mothers check their assumptions when they ran into those situations...did they call their mothers, sisters, or friends for advice? The internet sure is handy...I think.
Second, as I read a few articles on the matter I learned that pennies made before 1982 are actually safer to swallow in terms of their metal composition than pennies made after 1982. Pennies made after 1982 can react toxically with chemicals in the stomach and burn holes in the penny as well as cause ulcers or other serious medical problems (especially in children). Did not know that until today. So now I'm curious...did he actually swallow a penny, and if he did, what vintage is it?
Third, I read about the importance of 'sifting' through [you guessed it] for the next few days to watch for the penny to pass. I even read one article where the parent (had to be a dad) not only found, but then cleaned and kept the penny the daughter passed for future blackmail when she went on dates. Yikes! I'm so not going there!
So what's so sacred about swallowing a penny? Well, nothing really but I did offer a prayer of thanks for how my parents kept themselves from laughing out loud in front of us when we did things like that and how they preserved our dignity when they cared for us in those types of situations. I was also thankful for the kind of technology that allows me as a parent to quickly access medical information and for the bit of wisdom I do have to not over-react to a lot of what's 'out there.' Finally I'm blessed to take care of such beautiful children...pennies and all!