Forgive But Not Forget

“Not again,” were the thoughts and whispers uttered by so many on Monday, April 16th after finding out about the rampage shooting at Virginia Tech. A student who was described as “strange,” and a “loner” by roommates carried out his vengeful plan of hate and violence, killing 32 others before turning the gun on himself. By now the story is old news and many have moved on to the next media story. But for 33 families who lost a loved one that day, the Virginia Tech campus, and so many others connected to this tragedy, life has changed. The grieving process has begun, but the questions and pain will remain for many years to come.
While responses have varied, the notion of ‘not again’ speaks to our growing realization that violence on school campuses is not going away. According to the website, “infoplease,” which lists “A Time Line of Recent World Wide School Shootings,” (http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0777958.html) over 15 school shootings have occurred within the last two years alone, and 46 since 1996. More than 50 people in the US have been shot and killed in school-related violence in the last two years. As we continue to mourn and process this latest shooting at Virginia Tech, we cannot help asking tough questions of ourselves, our society, our laws and our God.
We question school security policies, gun control, mental health laws, and new measures to protect ourselves and our children wherever we go. Out of our grief, fear, anger and pain, we look for some one or some thing to blame that can be fixed, so that this cannot happen ever again. We want someone else to take responsibility for something that could not be predicted or controlled. And since we cannot punish the shooter, we question God as well, asking how a loving God could let this happen.
Feeling the emotions of grief, sadness, fear, anger, and confusion are normal and good when we express and deal with them in the appropriate ways. All of us get angry at times, but reacting from a place of anger (regardless of what action we take-yelling, hitting, fighting, throwing things) makes us no better than those who would pick up a weapon and do harm.
For Christians the bar of behavior has been raised high. Ephesians 4:26 says, “do not let the sun go down on your anger” and “put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger” (4:31) in order to forgive as Christ has forgiven. We are instructed to deal with our anger swiftly so that it does not “consume” and “devour” us (Hosea 11:6). After the shooting in Pennsylvania last October in an Amish school, the country was shocked by the swiftness of the Amish community’s response of forgiveness for the shooter. Maybe that is exactly the Christian response because it may be the only way to prevent the anger and fear and pain from destroying us too.
The Gospel of John recounts a story about a woman accused of adultery that was brought to the temple by the Pharisees in their attempt to trap Jesus in heresy. They confront Jesus with the woman saying that the Mosaic (or Jewish) law states that punishment for an adulteress is death by stoning. We can imagine the angry, tense scene. But Jesus does not react out of fear or anger. He calmly bends down, writing in the sand, saying only, “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her” (John 8:7).
Who among us has never been angry? Never sinned? Who among us can judge one another and God? Jesus’ response in the midst of anger and potential violence is one of compassion and love. Even as he was being crucified on the cross he asked God to forgive his persecutors. While we cannot claim to be Jesus on this earth, we must claim his ways in order to be his disciples. “The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also” (1 John 4:21). That means that if we claim to be Christian, we must also love and forgive those who use violence.
Because children and youth are the targets and victims of school violence we must affirm that their fears and all of their reactions are real and important. Part of our task as adults is to love them and comfort them through their fears, helping them then understand that even though there is no place that will ever be completely safe we cannot live in fear. Living means taking risks and being exposed to bad things. Our only real security rests in God, and our belief that God will be with us, take care of us and love us no matter what. Giving in to fear or refusing to forgive means that we do not yet trust God enough to handle it.